When You Feel the Pressure to Diet…

It was my first fitting after purchasing my wedding dress. The dress was unzipped, waiting for me to step and shimmy into it. Since it's formal wear, the fit was different from how I’m used to wearing my clothes; loose, breathable, waistbands with some wiggle room. My wedding dress did not offer the same flexibility.

As I stepped into it, I immediately noticed that it was tight. Too tight. And not just in the places I wanted it to be tight. I could feel where I had grown and softened since the last fitting. And in that moment, I felt the urge to change.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

The Instant Reaction: “I Need to Fix This”

As women, when we realize something doesn’t fit the way we think it should, it’s easy to panic and jump into black-and-white thinking:

"I won’t eat sweets again until my next birthday."
"If I stop eating today, I could probably lose 10 pounds by my beach trip next weekend."
"There must be a detox I can do to get ‘healthy’ and lose weight fast."

And when we inevitably can’t follow the impossible rules we set for ourselves, we feel like shit. We yo-yo in the other direction. We tell ourselves we have no self-control. We give up on our original goal.

But the real issue isn’t just the weight gain—it’s the shame spiral that follows.

What If It’s Not About the Diet?

I’m not here to say that adjusting your eating habits is always bad. There are times when it’s intentional, mindful, and temporary—like making sure I feel comfortable in my wedding dress.

But it’s important to ask:
👉 Am I doing this because I truly want to feel good, or because I feel like I have to change my body to be acceptable?
👉 Is this a choice, or am I reacting to shame?

If I gain weight before my wedding, the worst thing that happens is my dress feels tighter than I’d like. That’s it. But diet culture has taught us that a changing body is a crisis.

It’s not.

Diets Shouldn’t Be Forever

If you’re choosing to be intentional with your eating, it should be for a specific reason and a short season—not a lifelong battle with your body. Otherwise, dieting just becomes an exhausting cycle of restriction, guilt, and obsession.

Not everyone needs to diet. In fact, most of us don’t.

What to Do Instead of Dieting:

1. Prioritize Nourishment Over Restriction

The irony? Starving yourself doesn’t get you the results you want. Your body needs enough nutrients to function well. Skipping meals or over-restricting usually leads to a binge later. Instead, focus on balanced meals that actually satisfy you.

(Psst… I wrote about this in a past blog post—go check it out!)

2. Question the Urge to Shrink Yourself

Before jumping into a new eating plan, ask:
🔹 Am I doing this for my well-being or because I feel pressure to be smaller?
🔹 Would I still want to do this if nobody else saw my body?
🔹 Am I being kind to myself, or am I punishing myself?

3. Work With a Professional (Not Social Media)

If you truly want guidance around food and movement, work with a registered dietitian, doctor, therapist, or verified coach. Someone who understands that your worth is not measured in pounds.

Everyone has different body types and different weights they are healthiest at. A knowledgeable professional can help you safely address issues around food rather than reinforce outdated messages from diet culture.

Final Thoughts: What If You Just Let Yourself Be?

The truth is, our bodies will change. Sometimes they get softer. Sometimes they get stronger. Sometimes they need rest.

You don’t have to be at war with yourself. You don’t have to make drastic decisions because a dress fits differently than it did months ago. And you don’t have to spend your life micromanaging every bite of food to feel okay in your skin.

So if you’re feeling the pressure to diet—pause. Breathe. And ask yourself: Is this what I really need?

Because no matter what, shaming and blaming your body won’t give you the results.

Ready to stop swinging between black and white thinking, restricting and binging, and being all over the place with your eating? Then let’s talk. Schedule a free intro call today, and let’s explore whether therapy with me is the missing piece in loving your body and feeling better about yourself.

I work with adult women virtually throughout California and inperson at my office in Lompoc, CA to help them heal from their invisible wounds.

Schedule your free phone consultation & learn why women are trying EMDR therapy.